he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
I swear that men would be more efficient if they had a semen gauge on their penises
Pants on the Ground is the theme song of my life
I hope my sperm were as drunk as I was.
i'm pretty sure they aren't charging me for that window i broke with a turkey sandwich while i was hammered.
It's a given that you're going to get peed on at a country concert
She was hiding under the bed to surprise me with sex. But when you took your hookup in my room to bang things out, she thought I was cheating on her. So explain it to her douche.
You need to call dibs on the blond with the tits. It's your birthday.
Haha hell yea
Because if someone gets to see those.. It should be you. It's like God telling you Happy Birthday.
I went to bed at ten on a Friday night I have virtues to spare
Yeah. I couldn't figure out why my toes hurt. Apparently, the guy I was dancing with, kept running them over with his wheelchair.
We have hung out 5 times and only had sex 3 of those times. I'd call that friendship
Sorry, I didn't know he was with you. The ongoing collapse of Trump has me horny as hell.
She handed me scissors and told me that they were the ones with the lowest probability of having been used to trim someone's pubes.
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
College is really paying off. I am gonna be a great teacher. I just made a grading sheet for weed. This shit got an A.
Randomize
