what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
I successfully cooked a taquito with a lighter! My stomach hurts now tho.. im either guna blame it on the undercooked taquito or im feeling guily about porkin my brothers gf a lil bit ago
I told her for every minute she spent down there, I would donate a dollar to the Haiti relief fund... totally worked
so i just drove past a racoon and a kid on a long board... god i love 4am white castle runs
i just drank the rest of the vodka . Btw why did we put candy corn in it?
I'm ashamed of you 12 hours later and 200 miles away
Apparently I was pointing at birds and yelling "YOU USED TO BE A DINOSAUR!!!"
Hate is such a strong word! I prefer to think that you strongly dislike me due to the honesty I show towards your routine shortcomings of success in life.
Okay good. I don't want another mom thinking I got their daughter pregnant.
i finally decided to cut him off after he he looked me dead in the eyes and said "how have i been inside you for the past twenty minutes when my pants are still on?"
Worst walk of shame man. They had a fire drill at 7am, had to walk out of her all girl dorm wearing my Everday I'm Hustling sweater
Oh honey. I will not JUST be drunk. I will be spring break drunk. Spectacularly hammered. It will be glorious for all watching and embarrassing for anyone that has to drag me to bed.
He said a lot of nice things about me, it was really uncalled for.
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
Your mom asked you why you had bite marks all over your arms and you answered her by yelling "I HAD A SIESTA!"
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