just tell him i said nine months
hes so high that he's convinced hes a duck. hes squating in the bathtub quacking. that was NOT JUST pot.
If I don't wake up hungover in a ditch Monday morning I will consider my halloween a failure
I found what appears to be half an E pill and part of a tooth in my pocket this morning
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
the only good thing about going home with him was that he was prettier than me.
DC is easy, you will figure it out.
I'm drunk and blonde. You are wayyyy underestimating this.
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
Well start with a list of things you don't want to do... Like maybe 1) I don't want join Isis. That's a good start.
I had to reschedule my trainer meeting so now I'm just here eating hot pockets
I made a nest in his bed. I'm not leaving
It was great. Somehow, sleeping with her sister cured everything!
I just told 2 of my vibrators "I love you." I seriously need some dick.
When I meet her I'm going to have to resist the urge of saying "hey! We're Eskimo sisters!"
Will you PLEASE get your mom to stop telling me I'd make a great husband? She knows I'm gay, right?!
I know, but she really likes you. Have you met my brother yet?
Randomize
