I was in the bathroom and her cat just looked at my penis with a profound hatred.
Is it bad that when I see babies I feel bad for them because its going to be forever until they are 21?
Well I woke up with spatula marks on my ass and burns on my hands.
literally hosing herself off in my back yard with the hose. i offered her the shower but she refused. that drunk.
They said an hour before I even see a doctor...and they noticed the shots tally on my arm.
Fran... I put my tongue in somebody's gage hole last night.
I have a scary feeling my mom might switch her goals from finding me a husband in 2012 to sending me to rehab
Apparently we were arguing for captain seats so I shouted "who has your virginity." I got the seat.
You don't know commitment until you try and waterproof a non-waterproof vibrator
His dad was on the tv delivering the local 11 o' clock news while we were having sex
This place is a maelstrom of dicks.
I mean as in stuck up bastards, not actual, desirable male genitalia. My point is, come pick me up fast, please!
Yeah bc that's when u should take a Molly. At a house party with everyone from ur hometown
Oh yeah, it was definitely the best sex of my life, I just don't think I can fix the kitchen table before my parents get back...
It really hurts to walk. Any idea what happened to my hip?
It's like Guy Diamond blew glitter into my vagina.
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