i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
3am cut off hipster s***'s afro on porch. Opened champagne. Felt like delilah cutting off samson's hair. Then shower & anal. So I guess his powers are intact.
Puked in a cab. Passed out on my floor an my mom put a blanket over me. Home by 1045. I won shitshow trophy last night.
On a positive note, new entry in my phone as 'HOT ASS, DOWN TO FUCK'. idk if its a boy or girl tho.
Update, its a couple
There's a naked kid on the floor on your side of the bed. Don't freak out when you wake up. I think we need to fix the lock on the door...
In hindsight, trust falling your grandma was a bad idea. Sorry about that.
She bellyflopped onto the poolside bar, broke one wine bottle, and stole another...the resort staff just frowned and cleaned up her mess.
This has been the biggest binge-drinking season of the decade.
it was really awkward meeting your mom for the first time while i was still wearing the condom we were using.
Was the first guy that bit your neck last night wearing a trenchcoat...I have a vague memory.
jusy threw up in the airport bathroom. I am no longer thankful for fireball.
I woke up with a hangover and a man bun. Reached over to drink water and accidentally chugged raspberry vodka. So there's that.
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
I forget how to act sober
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
Randomize
