too bad you live with your parents still
You should get sea herpes
I mean sea horses
There is no way he is gay with that hair.
Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
my cup is half full, half full of rum.
There is too much vodka and too much dick.
...She was shooting whiskey using a turkey baster...i was horrified.
I'm sorry I murdered your sperm with my alcohol saturated Olympic uterus.
Chill out, I'm getting ready as fast as I can. I didn't even masturbate in the shower.
The gay is strong with you! You're more concerned about my outfit than my safety.
My mom just said she had more presents to wrap, so I should "smoke some weed & go back to bed"... She really is Santa Claus
She had like a side ponytail and hoop earrings though. And legwarmers. Like a horrible 80s nightmare. Don't drink and dream, dude.
40 year old guy made out with me last night while I had French fries in my mouth
Im just an angry damaged little elf who wanders around and tries to find drugs.
How do u explain to your grandma that your relationship status is hooking up with randoms at a bar
Randomize
