dude, my own friends sent me home from a party last night. real cool assholes. real cool
so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
For the whole 7 seconds I lasted, I was in heaven.
We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
I just had someone I don't even know on Facebook message me saying it seems like I drink too much and should slow down.
My 16 year old coworker just told me I should take my job more seriously after she watched me puke in the backroom trash can. Fuck teenagers with morals.
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
Fuckers are stealing our internet and making my porn stream slowly so I changed the password for VanceRefrigeration to RyansaCunt. No spaces but capitalization.
I just can't even fathom the crazy and I work at a mental hospital.
Did I really drink that whole bottle of Jack Daniels last night?
Heroically.
Just so you know, I woke up with 2 oven mits in my bed and no clothes on.
I'm trimming my pubes right now and the battery was wearing down. So I chose to only trim one side. I cut the right side down and now I look like pubic two-face. Right all trim and near and left like a caveman.
If you can throw 105 mph it’s mandatory that you’re hung.
Sorry I steam cleaned at 1:30 in the morning and that i'm such a drunk dumb child. On the bright side, my carpet has ever looked better.
The economy isn’t reopen until I can get drunk and motorboat fake tits at lunch on a Wednesday
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