My therapist says she wants to work on my 'trust issues'. I think she's found the cash cow within.
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns.
Just gave some kid head in the library. Perfect way to end the semester.
unfortunetly they frown upon drunk on duty paramedics
hungover and i feel like a burrito
like eating one or like you are one?
like i am one.
And then he told me he was too tired for me to suck his dick. Physically and mentally too tired for me to suck his dick. What the fuck?
I woke up to him pissing in their fireplace with fairy wings on.
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
What time do you think you'll be heterosexual?
The "don't have sex with him again" alerts you set on my phone just started going off.
Good. "Seriously, don't do it" should start in about five minutes.
well some coke just fell out of my nose in my partners meeting so i'd say my day's off to a fantastic start
There is a huge fucking spider in my bathroom....I can just burn our apartment down right? What do you need me to grab?
nyquil+orgasm=very intense and oddly interesting
Do you know how difficult it is to snap a good dick pic while driving?
No. I'm home alone and 100% dickless. I hate my life.
Randomize
