u cheatin on me?
if i did i would try to upgrade babe.
Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
you called me at 4 in the morning to tell me that your toaster burnt your english muffin, and that you "fuckin hated that thing."
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
He called my vagina a rainforest. This is coming from a guy whose pubes are longer than his dick.
You mAke me stone. Stone fuck fucking stoned. I'm an stoned you cuz now fucking stoned stoned fucking stoned I stone.
Please tell me joes at work safe and sound and doesn't smell like jail?
I'll be there in 10. I need you naked and ready. Warm up.
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
If you ever "miss" working, I'm going to fist you with my hulk hands. BOTH of them.
I just woke up drenched in beer, in a puddle of beer, and cuddling a bottle of tequila
Are you still in his room?
Nope, yogged home at 8 am with one shoe on.
You got into an extremely loud argument with a juggalo and slapped him, he started crying and everyone cheered.
I remember that, it happened before I started drinking. I thought you said I did something shameful?
She's celebrating a tinder-match-aversary and I'm not about that.
Randomize
