Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
i woke up this morning cuddling with a 3 foot statue of Jesus. heaven here i come
I just found out that my father was a Human condom for halloween when I was 4. And to think I used to wonder where my sense of humor came from.
That haircut screams I'm 35 but I still eat pussy.
if theres anything i pride myself on, its my ability to look homeless.
that freshman chick we always see on the weekends walked into art class wearing a jaegermeister shirt and holding a monster, which she proceeded to shotgun with a pair of scissors. It sickens me to know I will never achieve her level
Somehow me not being able to breathe due to cocaine doesn't seem very domesticated.
Cute underage boy is in my house.
OH MY GOD. DON'T DO ANYTHING. WHY IS HE IN YOUR HOUSE.
It was drunk tag. I was Alice in wonderland chasing a ballerina who was chasing Lance Armstrong who had needles in his arms.
She sent me a pic wearing only my batman cape. She stole my cape dude!
So was this before or after he cried about trump?
After
Apparently the cops had to handcuff me in order to get me to come with to the hospital with them. They asked me if I had had any experience with handcuffs before and I replied, "Only in bed." What a life
you started putting peanut butter on your pubes.
The fact that I’m not married yet means there are millions of lucky girls out there who have dodged a bullet
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