the way she shouted out instructions during sex made me feel like I was having sex with my gym teacher
I googled "I hate my uterus" just to make sure I wasn't the only one.
im watching shaqs comedy special. this is how i know im not sober.
he was drinking cheap vodka with warm tap water and a packet of crystal light. if that's not an alcoholic then idk what is
Dipping doritos in Grey Poupon. Why does no one treat me like the lady I am?
Your place is a magnet for either righteous parties or crippling alcohol dependency. Lets find out which together
Remind me to call McDonald's to give a good review of Ruth. She truly demonstrated grace under pressure.
If he's the sort of guy that will fuck in a public restroom, he's the sort of guy that will cheat on his gf. I'm goin for it.
Hope I didn't wake u up but I woke up and there is a shirt, boxers, belt and jeans on my balcony, along with a naked guy who claimed to scale the building
Sorry. Not doing life today. Love to. But can't.
It started with a wedding, followed by a drag show, and ended with Trevor getting punched in the face by the bouncer. How was your weekend?
So that advice that humming stops you from puking? Yeah no, just puked through my nose.
Kinda hard to look your partner in the face the day after a rousing game of How Many Ways Can I Capture Your Penis.
Why can I remember how tall Nicki Minaj is from looking up her height once months ago, yet after weeks into the semester I can't even remember where any my classrooms are located
Importance
Just had a customer call his drug dealer in front of me but act like it was normal call.
Randomize
