Dude, I just woke up on the floor of some random chick's floor with puke in my hair and a posted note on my forehead that said "It's over." Dude I wasn't even aware I was in a relationship...
Turns out I'm a social drinker... I just happen to be REALLY social.
Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
How the hell am I supposed to know what lotion to get her? They should have a dressing booth where I could go test how good it is for jerking off, then I'd know.
You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
I found it funny that her boobs actually kinda felt like a bag of sand. the 40 year old virgin should feel better about himself.
he passed out at 11 at a party. he deserved to be stripped down an duct taped to the floor
Can't a girl send out a 4 pm booty call anymore
Shoot me. I need tickles, a drink, sushi and a handy
Order is debatable
So the day after the 4th I'm sitting here drinking Molson and watching NHL free agent frenzy. From patriotic American to drunken Canadian in 24 hours flat. Booyah.
Your smile makes me feel like I'm frolicking through a field of gummy bears.
And you said I'm not athletic, I rubbed one out with my sports band on, it's the same as walking 1/4 mile.
I need to thank someone for this kid's penis.
Once again I let my vagina make the decisions...that and vodka :(
Randomize
