PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
went to the gyno and found out that i have a birthmark on my clit. its like god gave guys a little help when it comes to getting me off.
does anyone know how to get red sharpie out of a white cat?
She said that I needed to "pregame her so it can slip right in."
Give us adventure or give us cock. Or cocktails.
Dude. Yeah. This is a game changer. I feel dirty and possibly pregnant and it hasn't happened yet.
I'm eating cake, naked, in bed. I am GREAT at being single.
I'm at a gyno in Japan. Safe to say every possible rule of etiquette is about to be broken. Buckle up, motherfuckers.
Only you can make me eat tacos in your car, while naked, on a dead end road in a ditch on a Thursday night.
Yeah we invited her back for chicken nugget sandwiches
I can't believe we really went to walgreens to use their cork opener, bounced and drank a bottle of wine in a sketchy corner...
COVER ME IN BACON THATS MY FETISH
ACTUALLY ITS NOT, I HAVE NO FUCKING IDEA WHAT AWAKENS THE MONSTER BELOW THE BELT
Potholders are an underrated garment. Especially naked.
I'm pretty sure the cop knew you were drunk when you tried to light your cigg with a chapstick.
I have easymac and six pack of beer. This night can't get any better.
Randomize
