her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
that's an acceptable place to lick
dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
I have eleven tally marks and an infinity sign drawn on my wrist in permanent marker. Senior bar crawl stole my liver.
i told you the emergency thong was a good idea.
We tried lying really still and being really quiet so that he wouldn't notice us before he left the room. Forgot about the glow in the dark condom.
A man just poked my foot with his crutches while I'm shitting. Is that how the disabled gays ask for a glory hole blow jay?
Seriously your house is like the underground railroad for unwanted gay kids
Please tell me you have Advil or Tylenol or ibuprofen or a fucking baseball bat
I'm pleased to know that your mom refers to me as "the ass piliager" now
Dude are you being arrested? I swear I just saw you laying on the hood of your car with a cop patting you down...
Pretend you're in a taco. That always helps me sleep.
Puke-y regrets or just things-seem-far-away regrets?
Somehow I just turned an entire McDonald's bag upside down in my car and not a single fry fell out. The Lord really does work in mysterious ways.
Yeah, oh and the story gets better. His friend was dressed as a christmas tree wrapped in twinkle lights and had to plug himself in the wall all night.
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