WIFE SWAP. FAMILY OF MIDGETS. LIFETIME. NOW.
just threw the rents a curveball by making french toast and bacon when i came home sober. good luck tellin when im high/drunk now.
What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
She just messaged me 19 sad faces.
I'm sorry. I think I have multiple personalities. Or it was the acid. Either way. I'm sorry.
Thats why you have fulfilling relationships with nice girls and i have kinky sex with crazies
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
I know I'm not the first to fuck in a park but i deserve props for doing it at 3pm. On a sunny day might I add.
Made fish tank punch. It's like trash can punch but in a fish tank. Also, my dad saw a picture I uploaded on Facebook and called me a pussy for only making 10 gallons.
I woke up with my name tag for work still on my shirt. It was a rough night.
who knew magic tricks and sex would actually go together?
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
I'm touching everything in your apartment with my penis.
We told him to puke in the Denny's parking lot or we wouldn't be his friend anymore. So he did. He wasn't even drunk.
I'll be naked. By 11. Then arrested. Drunk tank adventures
Randomize
