Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
You'll be the first to get a "it's herpes simplex 1" cigar.
i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
you told me your penis was albino and it couldnt be exposed to light so you needed to keep it in me
I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
We broke into the space center. If i go to jail I wanted to tell you, you have a fantastic dick. Use it wisely.
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
I vaguely remember Matt shouting something about "GET ON MY LEVEL!" at the bartender before he attempted to order a case of tequila from him.
You're talking about alcohol when the smell of hand sanitizer is too much for me right now
so, i guess i gotta chill on showing up to work hungover... someone anonymously left a bible in my work mailbox (no one else got one)
I guess I just don't understand how the two main issues with your ex involve a cock ring and a Christmas tree
All I've had to eat today are potatoes...and by that I mean vodka and chips
I SWEAR TO ALL THAT IS HOLY I HAVE NEVER WIPED MY GENITALIA ON ANY TYPE OF EMERGENCY RESPONSE VEHICLE!!
I need some buff guys to cuddle me and call me precious
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