my sisters under your porch take her home
I think I should just go up to him and say, "before I invest time in this could I just take a look at your penis?"
I have more bruises, scratches, and overall soreness from my birthday weekend than my car accident.
we fucked the fort apart but we'll rebuild it after we get some drinks.
no one could get around him on the stairs cause he surrounded himself with all the empties he could find, he said he was building a fort. then he passed out on them.
I'm sorry you couldn't sneak away today. You're the only guy I'm fucking that I can talk with about the other guys I'm fucking, and I need some advice
Idk tell her to wear something sluttty. I have that one skirt I got arrested in if she wants to borrow?
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
I just got breakfast in bed and he went down on me. And you though he was a bad idea. Shame
Leaving my wallet at work and not going out to drink tonight...SIGN FROM THE UNIVERSE.
My mother is a bitch. She just outed me to my dad. He wants to meet you by the way...
Had to take him to the ER for not only alcohol poisoning but for stepping on a firecracker. Happy 4th holy fuck
I love you as a roommate, but you GOTTA start using the door dude..
See I just want a dick that I don`t have to deal with or talk to unless it is inside me. Is that so much to ask for?
I never thought I'd be complaining about having sex 4 times a day, but here we are...
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