I think I speak chipmunk. Odd.
Are you high?
No. That's why it's odd
Unmistakable female orgasm noises coming from upstairs shower
She must've brought a toy -- seriously doubt that he's up to the task
I sharted during my first quiz and I couldn't leave, I went ahead and took the rest of the day off.
Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
I want to punch and suck your dick at the same time. I don't think we have the healthiest of relationships.
I miss vodka workout Fridays
asked the girl next to us on line to take a picture of us and she shared her bacardi. i love white people.
I won't drink with you again until you promise to not feed me anymore paper bags
you have no idea the dirty thing i want to do to your blad spot. please wear my vagina as a hat.
Okay, who took a picture of their pubes shaved into a dragon on my phone and made it the background?!
You missed me roundhouse kicking a lit glow stick out of a guy's mouth last night. You would have been proud.
I learned so much about myself in that shower.
I'm eating tortillas right now. Like not cooked tortillas. Someone is playing the guitar. Man with bandana.
Because you put the dick in ridiculously amazing boyfriend. And you deserve to have nice things happen to your penis. That's why.
A reminder in my phone just went off saying, "Fuck.On.Roof- the Great Bambino". This makes me excited and slightly nervous.
Randomize
