The pink midgets playing hockey is the EXACT reason cold meds and alcohol do not mix. Period.
shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
don't read that magazine bro. I came in it
We can grow old together and our livers can fail together
he just made me do "this little piggy" to his toes.
Just checked my phone. Sometime last night I googled sex positions in a tent. Was there even a tent there?
so why was i the only one who woke up with ham stuck to my ass?
Drunk on Tuesday. Double fisting. Mmmbop is playing. Only girl in the group. Life is complete.
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
I need rollerblades now
Rollerblades pick up bitches
No gifts needed, but if you have fireworks or weed that'd be good.
im mad at you for telling me he ejaculated during "let it go." Thanks for ruining the song forever.
Did my roommate wake up in your girlfriend's apartment in drag again?
I would never blame a unicorn for anything.....how dare you
i want to say his dick was in it but not his heart
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