her underwear stopped being sexy when i saw her pubes sticking out of the top.
just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
My male hookup buddy is gonna meet my female hookup buddy, let the awkward hookup games begin!
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
We're about to have a bottle rocket fight on jetskis. You have 5 minutes to get on our level.
I woke up in her bed, she woke up in mine. Apparently there was a miscommunication after the 8th jager bomb.
He's just a really nice guy who stuck his tongue in the wrong place.
He is crying over the toilet and his friends just came in and tried to make him take another jello shot.
I'm going to empty my bank account and roll around in the cash. Want to join?
Sorry I just took 4 pills about 20 minutes ago so I'm feeling like a claw machine like people tell me were I need to go and what to do and I'm just like yes sir so I get the teddy bear but I set it on fire and it's kinda black on one side and there might be smoke coming off it.
I feel better now, I have multiple fuck buddies again
Pretty sure I just got the ok to have a one night stand in Maui...from mom. I'd say that's a win in my book.
He shampooed and conditioned his pubes but can't manscape for shit.
Like, I just want a guy who will drop what he's doing to come touch my vagina whenever I want and to leave me the hell alone whenever I want. Is that SO MUCH TO ASK??
Why were there just 3 inflatable bounce houses delivered to my house?
oh shit.
Randomize
