Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
Our cab driver just admitted to beating up kids in the 60's who didn't smoke pot...
Oh it's happening. I'm Chugging a beer while sitting next to a 6 year old
Only in this snowstorm did have I realized the lengths I'll go to to get laid.
He woke me up at 4am just to lick my nipple. Then he talked in his sleep for 20 minutes about the sex we just had. I think it's safe to say he's a weird one, but I dont care cuz he fucks like a champ.
So then I proceeded to the kitchen to make my "specialty," which consisted of a frozen veggie burger topped with peanut butter. I guess he ate it too.
He is really drunk but I just found $20 so it's like I am getting paid to babysit
He wins the giant teddy bear for getting the neuva ring on the dick
I gave the bike taxi guy a blowjob because I didn't have any cash. College.
apparently i came home last night raving about goats and singing songs from muppet treasure island
I shoulda been born a dude. There's too much power in a vagina.
I was on tinder the whole time I was waiting for my pregnancy test results at the doctors.
I cannot belive our party caught on fire
She yelled “outlaw country” right before we heard the police siren
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