I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
I just saw a guy masturbating vigorously at the bus stop across from del taco at 2:30am...im pretty sure he wasn't even homeless
my vag is singing 'hurts so good' by john mellencamp
Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
We're celebrating his weight gain and arrest.and by we I mean I, and by celebrating I mean getting dangerously drunk
I think my vagina is going to steal my keys and drive over there.
Hopefully she would park on my face.
TINY HANDS NOT FOR BUTTHOLES
This is going everywhere on the internet.
I was like a migrating bird last night. Navigating on pure instinct. Don't remember how... but I made it home.
I swear I can't go out anymore. It's like he put a GPS in my dick. I don't know if I should feel awkward or proud...
Found out my grandpa had two wives and found out I'm eligible for some internships 11/10 would do acid again.
I'm currently using a band-aid to cover my bar stamp from last night while I ask my professor for an extension. That's a sign of getting more responsible, right?
He just told me my boobs made up for all the bad things that had ever happened to him. I'm definately having sex with him again.
I might be a bit late, couldn't find my pants and had to go to the police station. Unrelated
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