is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
woke up and her hair clip was clamped around my shaft
It was fun until I shot a pea out of my nose while throwing up. Left over tuna casarole at 3Am was a terrible choice.
Of course she said it wasn't that good, I don't bring my A game to pity fuck the thrice divorced girl from work
Annd you probably wouldn't of fallen down the stairs if you didn't insist on taking 'finale shots'
Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
He was very impressed that you could put your hair in a ponytail by yourself while throwing up.
So i think i'm going to frame my summons tickets and give them to dad as a christmas present...
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
Mate, you pissed in my bed. Then told me to "Just keep swimming"
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
I think my fortune cookie is telling me I give good blowjobs.
I'm glad you threw up in my bed because now we talk.
I'll text you when I have a mental breakdown about it.
Please do.
I'm eating dinner with his parents and my phone goes "MOVE BITCH GET OUT THE WAY!" Thanks.
Randomize
