Tampa is so boring. I'm dying. I want lots of cleavage at my funeral. If i cant get laid, i want my friends to. I'm that kind of person
Remember how we wr so drunk last nite we cldnt find whr i shot my load? ...found some of it.
They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
I know this may seem inappropriate, but are you gonna bring any blow to the wedding?
She eyed me up from across the bar and mouthed "I have no gag reflex".
If I buy you $300 worth of popeyes, will that make up for me trashing the house?
All I remember is this kid kept saying that he has a dream that white kids and black kids can take shots together as one, and just we'd keep drinking to that.
See what happens chris. I told u not to invite her over. Now shes on her way to jail and were stuck with two pomeranians.
The cops raided her house the day before class even started
Those assholes are becoming so efficient
Opened my purse to realize I have someone else's birth certificate. What happens to me in college?
do you think our homemade porn will pass for my cinematography final?
She said she is going to be sex-slave version of Princess Leia for halloween. You think there is any way I could pull off an attractive Jabba suit?
Hey when you get home, can you do me a solid and throw one of your pregnancy tests on my bed?
EPT or First Response?
So, I need to know. Why did you spraypaint your underwear gold?
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