just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
His threats seemed pretty legit for a 6 year old
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
also, just kill me. literally hit me with a vehicle, or an aircraft, something that will ultimately make me forget tonight.
Life seems so much brighter and more vibrant after you have sex with a 20 year old. It's like how Kansas was in black and white and Oz was in technicolor.
if masturbating while stoned isn't called "weed whacking" then i just don't know how to live my life anymore
Well it's official, last night I hooked up with the third girl from the apartment downstairs.
Dude that's a hat trick!
I know, I tossed my hat on the floor as I was walking out.
Okay... I just said "preach it" to the pokemon theme song. I'm hammered.
So I should just walk in, look him in the eye and say, "I just came to fuck your brother, nice to meet you" and just walk to your room.
he couldn't get a boner so he asked me to sing you shook me all night long to his penis. I think it was weirder that it actually worked
my liver is dry heaving
Is it something I'm going to want to hug you for or slap you for?
Omg I just woke up. In the hallway outside my room. I know you had something to do with this
I didn’t eat all day. Got really drunk at a bruins game and puked in a random dunkies cup on the T
If that doesn’t scream I’m from New England, I don’t know what does
I'm sitting in the car vaping at an elementary school to try and deal with the stress of existing. About how i thought being 30 would go for me tbh
Randomize
