you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
Don't be a smartass. I'm trying to fuck a guy who's sober. It's more difficult than you think.
Not a single person will look me in the eye. Last night must've been bad.
Just had to throw up on the floor of my car during traffic on the way to work. Car next to me saw both times. Found the downside to having a job right after graduation.
got my wristband ripped off, was told i can only be served water. please find me, i'll be running through the fountain
I'm mentally preparing my vagina for this semester. It's fucking welcome week. I'm going to be talking to her all night.
Speaking of fellatio on fictional characters, the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man would be a delicious blowjob.
When I was sick she came over with Call of Duty, animal crackers and a handjob. Honor says I can't dump her until Easter
I TOOK A FINGER IN THE BUTT YOU CAN OPEN THIS MESSAGE
sorry I blacked out our whole relationship
I have a sixth sense for large penises and lack of morals
Sara can't come to the phone right now. She's currently having an in-depth conversation with a flower pot.
I'm sitting in the car vaping at an elementary school to try and deal with the stress of existing. About how i thought being 30 would go for me tbh
They don't really make a "hey I'm fucking your ex wife" card do they ?
Randomize