I faked an abortion last night.
I've spent too much of my life staring at my bberry and counting to 5 to see if it blinks
this crazy girl in up in Dennys is going crazy because Bob Saget just texted her.
I FOUND THE PROF I'M GOING TO FUCKKKK.
dude so we were eating nacho cheese popcorn and chasing it with cole slaw
by the way nacho cheese popcorn is me making popcorn and then adding milk butter and mac n cheese mix
I started to trust fall random people on the dance floor
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
Not many best friends can say they've all made out with a homeless guy
It's almost like he dry humped the last remaining bit of good person out of me.
I'm eating my emotions. I am no longer interested in anybody other than my own hand and vagina.
So the contents found in my winter coats this year: coat 1, condom and 10$. Coat 2, condom and 75$ check. Coat 3, 2.05$ and a sunflower seed.
Obviously coat 3 had the best time since you used the condom and all of the money
jake and the teradactyl broke up, operation get high and find him a new girl who hasn't had sexual experiences with three delts simultaniously is in full effect.
In that case, if you come anywhere near my house you can expect to be chased down various streets by a half naked me wielding a baseball bat. No, I am not giving you my address.
Why so serious bruh
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
I fell asleep giving a handjob, had a sex dream about giving a handjob, and woke up giving a handjob. Life.
Randomize
