At least make sure they are 18
Why
well..after leaving the bar you handed me your wallet and said you didnt need it cause you were going to find the cash cab and added 'i'll see you on tv'
Just printed out my Plan B coupon at the library. Saving my own printer ink and paper as well as 10 dollars towards not being knocked up.
Your never gonna wash that desperation outta that sweatshirt you know.
He's more than prepared to help us move. Dude brought sunscreen, cans of Coke, and Captain Morgan.
maybe volvos are so family friendly and safe because they're extremely uncomfortable to get fucked on.
The cops knocked on our door just to ask us if we were really having a no-pants party.
She just cut the six pack plastic up and screamed "save the dolphins"..she also threw away cans of tuna. I like this girl.
Yes. I feel like complaining about sex all the time with a 21 year old might be punishable by death of the sex gods so I try not to
If I get aids I am starting a lawsuit against snapchat.
She told him that she never wanted to see him again then took his takeout box of bacon cheddar fries and got in the uber saying "for feminism"
she grabed my junk and started making lightsaber noises
I wonder if you could get her in a metal bikini
we cut you off when you started chasing with your slim fast shake
I'm going to leave the 5 dollars that fell out of my bra while fucking in his room on the dresser as an apology
He’s disease free and drives a Porsche. What else does a girl need?
Randomize
