your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
don't worry. When rigor sets in, we'll make sure to get you laid one last time.
Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
I sent out a mass text that said "margaritas for Jesus?" and nobody responded, worst Easter ever.
How do you tell someone they are only invited if they put out?
today is monday, i feel like we should do something illegal
I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
Truth be told I was googling "why is my left calf bigger than my right calf", porn would've been a better excuse for a virus.
He just called me juicy booty via text message.
We should search craigslist for porches to sublet.
Can one of you do me a favor? Light a match and throw it into my room. Bc I'm certain I would rather be burned to death than live in this hell I call my life
After the party last night, I dreamt I continued drinking... Apparently my subconscious didn't think I'd had enough...
She leaned in close to me, made eye contact, and seriously whispered "I will eat your soul with bacon bits." I want whatever drug she was on.
You drunkenly said something along the lines of "move forever" to the lady standing in your way. Needless to say you had too many mimosas at breakfast.
You'll be pleased to know I just had an elaborate day dream about your penis. you were there too.
Randomize
