you guys were way drunker than both of me
I'm blazed at jack in the box and my order number is 420. I wish everything in the world made this much sense.
Considering the last guy I had sex with was gay, this was a huge improvement.
Got a personal ride from safe ride. I was crying so hard. The driver said think of something happy and I said Disney. In which I sang him Aladdin. So I got home ok
I think the camel was justified in biting me.
You didn't know it was a gay bar until the 7th guy rejected you. You were crying because you thought it was just a bad night. No more for you.
I have hit nutritional rock bottom I am spreading peanut butter on to lays potato chips
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
he told me it was nice to see me not blacked out mumbling to myself in the front seat, I told him it was nice to see him not in handcuffs.
Look. When I let you cum on my tits don't fuck it all up by going "SKEET SKEET SKEET" it just pisses me off.
I can't ever look his wife in the eye again. She will see right through my soul to his dick pic.
She touched my penis and started laughing. She did the same thing when she blew me.
I'd rather have snapchat than feelings.
The number of threesomes I have agreed to seems to increase every time I talk to you drunk...
NOT PREGNANT according to the two dollar tree pregnancy tests I took in the tacobell bathroom. Come meet me at tacobell for celebratory soft tacos.
Randomize
