Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
Wedding update: no alcohol, 75% of people have left, no one is dancing, no single groomsmen, and it's 5:30. I'm going the fuck home to drink by myself.
All he said was "Yeah, there's a lot of air down there. And penis."
I think a 5 ft pyramid of jello shots in honor of the egyptians is in order
Don't worry. This time I'll get black out drunk so they'll just think it's an American thing.
Thanksgiving. This year's theme: I am thankful that I still have a liver.
It's like being the highest you've ever been, then doing about 20 shots, and chasing them with lines of coke. All while laying on the surface of the sun.
I have no idea. He was just running around wearing a horse mask yelling "bumfuck" repeatedly. We figured we'd just let him get it out of his system.
I tore the muscle in my left calf at the gym and still spent all evening in heels. UNSTOPPABLE!
yeah im watching him make his speech now. cant take him seriously tho. hes talking about funding for education and all i can think about is how ive seen what he looks like wearing womens underwear...
I went to an 8am hookup in another guys sweatpants. Who is the really player here?
Knowing there are different types of spiders in different countries and regions makes me never want to travel.
my gynecologist gave me a high 5 for not getting any STD's since my last visit and said "Way to go Annabeth!" you have twenty seconds to get to my level
Is there any chance of you maybe wanting a bouncy house at your wedding. Like maybe a .0001 chance. If so I would totally chip in for that.
The dog peed on the neighbors baby Jesus. No wonder she thinks we're the devil.
Randomize
