wake up i wanna do it froggy style
My penis is bigger than his and I don't even have a penis.
you made your own hammock out of a towel and duct tape.
I only get commercials for vodka and Rogaine now. You're exactly right, Hulu. That's exactly right.
There was a staple in my grits at waffle house last night. My knees are bruised as hell. And I puked pink all over my bathroom. Gooood night.
Something's wrong. Everything's on fire. Unless it was like that before. Then everything's alright.
I'm proud of you, you were pretty classy last night, you didn't puke AND you didn't take off your shirt, except for those two times in the corner.
I've slept in a different bed every day this week. Operation Ho Ho Ho is a success!
What did the sign say that bob stapled to his ass?
it was a hallmark card with butt plugs.
Here's a concept though: eating pasta while getting laid
Remember that pair of super cute shorts I pooped in? I miss those 😔
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
I'm too pretty to be this sexually frustrated.
Tonight I totally got eaten out in the old school photo booth in the mall. Will send you pics of the photo reel asap
Randomize
