Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
Why are there so many empty soda cans in my room?
You put them in a circle around your bed and said it was the best way to ward of the witches from hocus pocus....then you remembered you needed salt too. I'm assuming you havent gone to the bathroom yet.
It's a pity Stephen Hawking can't do sarcasm.
in mid cry she says "I can be a whore if I want to"
just had to shower sitting down. i hope this isn't an indicator of how the rest of my week is going to go.
Just proof I should've brought the airhorn with me to class.
trying to imitate man vs food after 12 shots doesnt mean youll get laid
Thats why you have fulfilling relationships with nice girls and i have kinky sex with crazies
Currently smoking a blunt with my one night stand's mom. I don't know how I should feel about this.
I was only out of town for 1 week. His cell records show he texted 63 ex-gfs and hookups while I was gone. And 10 condoms are missing.
Hi please disregard the last text and if you'd like our entire interaction
Done
Can't beat it when the local bar sends you off with a loaf of bread on the way out the door.
Every time we have sex, I feel his dick ramming my soul into submission. Problem is..... I LIKE THAT SHIT!
Wake up. Smoke. Masturbate while eggos cook. Go back to bed. Smoke. Body spray shower. Beer with breakfast. Class. Morning of a champion.
I got conspiracy theory drunk.
Randomize
