Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
hey, here's something you don't have worry about since you're a girl: finding crusty cum in your bellybutton.
my last 3 google searches were anal itchy vagina and ice cubes
Dude, I would hit that so hard that whoever could pull me out would become the king of England
haha I love it when I find out that girls who were mean to me in middle school are now some random dude's baby mama. thanks, facebook.
He told me his mother taught him that move. What the hell do I say to that?
Only in this snowstorm did have I realized the lengths I'll go to to get laid.
She just pulled out a chicken strip and a hundred dollar bill from her purse. This is a legit twentyfirst bday weekend.
you can hold your grudge or you can accept the alcoholic treats as a peace offering. your choice
peace be with you.
You need to come back and help me drink our beer so the fridge has room for the other beers
NO SHITSVILLE I just saw a homeless dude punch a pigeon that flew by him
She's going to hate me
Yeah well one of her many personalities always hates you.
The rest will just start to agree
I took out the emergency phone in the elevator and replaced it with a bottle of vodka. The game is simple, do a shot for the number of the floor you're going to. Best suggestion box tip ever.
Anybody can graduate from college sober. You try it while being stoned every day for the last three years. 2.75 baby.
Our baby is creepy.
That's how we know it's ours. haha
Randomize