speaking of unleashing monsters, we need to get condoms
I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
We woke up, fucked, and shared a piece of my sister's first communion cake for breakfast.
And you thought you were going to hell last weekend.
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
Walk of Shame'd halfway down a mountain, skiiers passing. Do not drink with lifties at the end of ski season.
so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?
He says he won't get serious until he screws an Asian and a virgin. I should just place an ad on Craig's List
Wanted: female 18-24 of Asian or partial Asian descent to fuck my ginger boyfriend. Must be willing and able to fake virginity. No emotional connection needed, just sex, just once. Further contact post sex not needed (or particularly desired)
They let me close the tennis center alone. It's a 6-minute drive from 2 of my booty calls. Scratch tennis court bj off the bucket list.
Letting two friends screw at my place in exchange for weed. This is my life.
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
As a general rule of thumb, I don't call until the claw marks have healed.
i may or may not be making depth charges with cough syrup. i'll call you if i survive.
I spent all the money my grandpa gave me for Christmas last night….solid start to 2015
Do we have to do this party tonight? I'm worried my bed will miss me...
I just got home and spray-tanned my boyfriend. That's the side of relationships they don't tell you about...
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