are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
When she showed me how she could touch her toes without bending her knees, suddenly her face didn't worry me quite as much.
You leave a trail of fuck everywhere you go
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
high in an attic. pig roast in 10.
remember.. you're not a homewrecker.. you're just creating options for him..
Call me when you get up. This hang-over is like dismantling a bomb: I need someone to talk me through it.
im that hungover where parking at red lights has to be done
And one night I got way too drunk and thought he said call me a polish name so I called him Konrad. Now he thinks I cheated on him with a Konrad.
That's my new pick up line call me a polish name
At the bar in my pajamas again
Ummm that is the 3rd time this week and it is Wednesday
My fire has petered out without you
My Peter has fired out without you
That might be the most romantic thing you’ve said to me, unfortunately.
I can't decide if I miss drinking or you, they are so closely connected.
I’m really upset they canceled the conference. Since the divorce I’ve been working out, I bought cute new outfits and even found a bikini I liked. Now it’s all online. You can’t get laid at a webinar
Come on in and take your pants off
Randomize
