would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
I just fell off my chair and knocked over the table. People are staring. That hungover.
The first song on his sex mix was "highway to the danger zone"
He's crying and calling me out on using him. It's awful. And I'm too drunk to leave.
STOP CALLING ME LADY CHLAMYDIA
Carry on my wayward bro, there'll be beer when you get low. lay your neon tank to rest, dont you rage no more.
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
Hon, I found you crying into a bathrobe in the back of a closet with a broken shoerack.
my dad has now seen 6 different dudes grab my ass. i guess i should start a list.
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
His cat watched us the ENTIRE time. Every time I glanced over the poor kitty looked at me as if I were pelvic thrusting her father to death.
I just peed on a rich man's lawn fuck yeah America
Nothing makes me prouder to be liberal and socialist than the idea of desecrating the memory of Ronald Reagan
Are you alone?
No, but I have to leave him in my bed while I go on this date.
if he becomes president of the united states, I will tell EVERYONE that i took his virginity.
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