I think I just saw someone hide a body.
Next weekend I am getting a library card and staying my whore ass home.
Apparently he doesn't remember leaving the bar
If I spent $100 at the bar and didn't get laid I wouldn't want to remember anything either
So I just saw a commercial for tickle me Elmo furry gloves. And I thought hmm I bet I could jerk off with those. Is that a sign of deepseated charachter issues?
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
I just got woken up by some Christians who wanted to talk about the bible. ways to make a hangover even worse for a thousand trebek
I feel a five day drunk coming on.
All I know is....there's beer in my camera. How do I know? Because I can pick up my camera,shake it and HEAR, the beer in it
Idk, you were a drunk pirate that kept stealing pieces of people's costumes to keep as your booty.
That would explain all the random shit in my room...
I was passed out in a bathroom stall. Of course im going to look like shit
Would you still love me and fuck me doggie style if I had a dinosaur tramp stamp?
my new years resolution to eat more toast and mastrubate more often is going well so far.
Well now you know not to take drugs from your friends. Take it from stangers. They're more reliable.
That was the most spiritually awakened shit I have ever taken.
It started with drunk jenga and ended with me simultaneously peeing and puking on his feet in the tub while he held me up. I met Tequila. I don't like her.
Randomize
