I just had to have my mom look at my penis to figure out what it was. How do you think my day is going?
i just bought ciggarettes using my court citation as id. I've reached an all time low.
and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high?
any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
So add panera bread to the places i love to eat that i am potentially banned from.
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
a girl just walked by me crying on the phone saying, "all I ever do is menstruate"
He compliments me like a gay guy and fucks me like a starved nympho. I'm in love.
We had car sex in the parking lot of the dispensery while he blasted Tony Bennett. It was so fucking romantic.
He asked me not to hook up with anyone else because it would hurt his feelings.. while his arm was around his pregnant girlfriend.
We don't know where he is but he left his pants and what appears to be a tooth here so he's gotta come back sometime
Vodka for breakfast. With a side of Frankenberries. Don't judge me.
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