have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
sexting loses it's worth when you accidentally text your boss.
never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
I dont care how high you are, meat and sprinkles dont mix dude
You threw up? Were you ladylike while you did it? I'm wagering that you were. Like a Disney princess. Like a "Puke Me Pretty" Barbie.
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
At one point I was waiting in line for the port o potties and a storm trooper came out of one and sprayed me in the face with a water gun
Like that actually happened I wasn't hallucinating
Nothing is working I'm going to die alone and on hold with a State Farm representative
Threw up in hyvee parking lot. Thanksgiving shopping complete.
You kidnapped her dog. I don't care that you and the dog are epic bros, that's just not cool. Return him.
We broke up. And I told him he better give me my fucking star wars movies tomorrow. Priorities.
I have successfully trained your dog to bring me pudding cups!
I dont know if hes kidding... but hes drunk and said hes going to shave his balls. Alert your emt friends
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
Dude, I just turned down sexual favours because I need to study... What the fuck is wrong with me?
Randomize
