Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
I think I am morally bankrupt
i just woke up in the hallway. not my hallway. i officially raise my hand to be DD next week.
You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
Your sister got a Brazilian yesterday. It looks great
I don't remember much but I think I'm wearing your underwear, and for that, I am extremely grateful.
I figure that my generation of my family needs an alcoholic. I'll take that burden.
she put on her moms wedding dress and is chugging purple jolly rancher vodka, happy cyber monday
Just had the "whores are people too" talk with Mom. Bright side it's Christmas, and I may have been drunk, I don't think she caught on.
I feel bad for his balls. Ive never seen so much sperm. He had to be dying
Proudest moment of my life. Just watched a guy walk into the side of a car because I winked at him. Love these yoga pants and my hair. Fuck yes. His mouth was hanging open.
We also had a full on debate about how realistic and useful teleportation and time travel would be...and only used Twilight Zone episodes as "scientific evidence"
What eyeshadow color says "yes I am at the dentist, and yes I am hungover please don't judge my life choices"
Also, fucking on half deflated air mattresses is a great full body work out.
COME AND FUCKING GET ME I AM IN SOME SORT OF JUNKYARD!!!
Randomize
