if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
i threw up in his kitchen sink and then used a measuring cup to drink water because i couldn't find a clean glass. i just threw up down the stairs. it's gonna be a long walk home.
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
What happened?....
He lifted up the blanket, and whispered "Don't do it" to his sperm....
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
I have an odd instinct I wont find my underwear tonight
Some idiot from high school is in the hospital for bonging three beers up his ass
He should have died. Natural selection.
Since the world is still here you can go ahead and disregard those pictures I sent
I'm going to crush up my last 7 Percocets into a fine powder and toss my popcorn in it.
I'm pretty sure there a million tiny ninjas in my uterus poking me with sticks.
I'm supposed to nail the old lady at 1:30 so I'll see you at 1:35ish.
Your grandma changed her Netflix password :(
I traded some nice guy at the bar ten bucks and a pack of cigarettes for his leather jacket. I'm pretty sure I win at life. Whoever is in my phone as Tyler Durden, I thank you.
Theres a woman here with grey hair that im pretty sure i would have sex with
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
Randomize
