I blacked out, fell off a swingset, and thought I was Liz Lemon for almost an hour.
you literally pushed me forward in the seat so you could puke behind my back without the cabbie noticing..
Before attempting to fly away into the night you asked me to take care of your sister. I agreed.
you goin out tonight?
who is this.
your orgasm for tonight
im still going. this is my new reality. also. dont take glowsticks in the bath. they explode. actually. do. it. its beautiful.
i dont think thats healthy man...
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
Sex last night was mind blowing. your wife is one lucky lady.
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
I am at Brians in a pirate costume, what the hell am I thinking
I'm going to have to have a long talk with god if my soul mate has a prince albert
7:26 bus just came. I am sweatier than Louie Anderson eating chili in a sauna
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
I can't hookup with a guy in my car because it smells like Taco Bell..
I just threw up a strange neon green substance. Did I eat a glow stick last night?
Randomize
