She got kicked off the plane and spent the last four hours in a holding cell with the feds.
but she's really nice
is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
Jon thought he was that blonde chick from Three's Company when he was shrooming
Woke up in my underwear and Christmas sweater. Only. Eggnog has won the battle but not the war.
Just heard the words 'Pussy Riot' on NPR...I almost crashed my car.
My worst fear almost came to light...I was choking and the cats stared at me like they had no problem eating my face if I died
My alarm went off and I went straight for your dick. That's dedication.
I'll have to text you later. Trying to have civilized conversations with the boyfriends parents when I'm 100% aware I just blew their son in the bathroom 5 mins ago. Stay tuned.
MIDGETS
????
MY TITS ARE PERFECTLY CALM.
Alright if I email the police department asking for my mug shot do you think they will email it to me
I have a hook up buddy in Abiquiu. He lives next to a Chipotle; that's the only reason I see him.
She gave me a boner for the first time in 9 years.
I may have interrupted sex but im bringing them both to McDonalds. Am I not the greatest older sister ever?
I feel like I had a successful night. I flashed the guy at the liquor store last night for 2 free tshirts and a giant redbull.
Randomize
