I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
They just gave us root beer floats. I guess I won't quit my job today.
i asked him how he could stand the smell of skunk. his answer was "it smells like good weed"...
my text book just quoted the cookie monster
Puked in a plastic neiman Marcus bag while driving. My biggest accomplishment yet
On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
just shottied a beer can with a pumpkin carver. i love October.
Exactly. So he deserves crazy "thanks for keeping me out of jail" sex. Or an "I'm glad your excessive cocaine habit had some positive outcomes" blowjob.
If I can't get slightly excited by the thought of his face between my legs then I know I can never sleep with him.
Starting the day with sex, coffee and productivity are what the founding fathers intended
He looked at me and just said "moist". The entire party shut down from uncomfortableness. He is an anti-party wizard.
Question: have you ever spent your Tuesday evening helping your one-night-stand create a resume? Because I have...
when you wake up naked in a bed with glowsticks, a rolled ankle, a hangover, and a condom; alone. you wonder shit
I blacked out in the cab last night... Cant remember getting in the front door, also i got into bed with my grandma.
Randomize
