Yeah, we spent most of the evening making fun of the drunk girl until we realized it was you.
don't ever try to run hungover. just puked mid-run in front of an old couple that were going for a walk. they were horrified.
Important life lesson - flammable and inflammable mean the same thing
Is it sad I don't want to go buy $1 Mac-n-cheese cause I need to pay rent... I'm re-naming this college.
Also, peanut butter on a spoon dinner is back in existence and it is good.
Dont make this weird.... I was wondering if I could paper mache a few of your dildos this weekend?
I keep jumping up and down in front of the mirror naked. The only motivation I would be to stop and put clothes on is if you come over. Hurry.
Lets get coked out and steal a parrot this summer
It's getting harder and harder to find People to carry her home
She shouldn't drink
He fell into the beer pong table and broke it. Then he threatened to throw the toliet at us if we didn't let him keep playing
My next goal in this relationship is to teach my boyfriend that there are valid reasons to be fear of dolphins completely.
Please tell me I didn't send you a dick pic in the middle of Peter Pan..
Text me later if you aren't dead and wanna have a drink later
My car insurance payment showed up today, so no inflatable hot tub for now. Sorry to disappoint.
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
About that photo of the cake you just sent. You do realize it’s on a glass table, right? We can all see your reflection in it, and you’re very obviously naked.
Randomize
