We played Rock, Paper, Scissors last night to see who was the least drunk to drive.
The Rock won.
Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
totally just realized while washing my face that Cetaphil looks like semen.
dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
I'm not going to fuck him in his Honda Fit. That's gay.
Oh no it's bring yor chld to work day...I'm too drunk for this
I'm crying, drinking alone and applying for jobs tonight. I figure the alcohol will lower my job standards.
Dude, I fucked her last night with nothing but my bandana on. Like straight Indian chief style.
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
It was darkish out, I was shit faced, and they should have marked the electric fence a little more clearly. The entire wedding reception saw me run full force into it
I'm sorry for the texts and anything that I said that may have caused confusion, pain or irritation. I shall not be drinking again. Furthermore I will not be keeping a phone on me should I fail to adhere to the prior statement.
I think I'm gonna quit partying for awhile. Piercing my own nose is where I draw the line.
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
Randomize
