My entire life is one complicated drinking game
Mom is telling us about the time she drank her own breast milk. Help.
girl is pretty boring. i'm gonna see if she'll let me finger her.
Remember that amazing deer? You peed next to that dear..
my shower just felt like jesus cried on me. like he shed tears just for my shower.
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
Check having sex on the rocks and dirt on the peak of saddleback mountain off my list.
I felt like a god.
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
I decided I was tough enough to wax my bikini area myself. Long story short, I'll be drunk when you get home
I've seen you dance and let's just say its a good thing you don't have a small dick
I think curling is the best thing to watch when you're baked.
I got unbelievably drunk yesterday, need some time off. Apparently pulling your balls out to make your buddy's girlfriend miss beerpong shots is frowned upon.
I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.
Are you still in his room?
Nope, yogged home at 8 am with one shoe on.
I'm too drunk to remember your name. I'm too drunk to recall where i'm currently at. And i'm too drunk to give a shit.
Randomize
