did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
She had a maple leaf tattoo behind her ear and told me she liked my "playoff beard".
Only in Canada would your laziness be applied to hockey and rewarded.
Is today national text-a-girl-whose-had-your-dick-in-her-mouth day and I just wasn't aware?? I am getting the most random "just saying hey" texts ever and that's the only common denominator.
who said I'd never amount to anything...i just won 'most enthusiastic' at my poledancing class
My goal of the day is to not shit myself. That's it. Setting the bar real low
Seriously, it sounds like someone is torturing a dozen cats inside a Japanese techno club while a jamaican yells random hipster words through a megaphone.
I got kicked out of the bar for suggesting that the bartender drop her tits into my Redbull instead of the usual liquor
my hand froze to the top of can of beer cuz i fell asleep outside. i decided to find a way to open the bottom of the can before addressing my severe frostbite. PRIORITIES!
Well I just found a coupon for cheese in the bathroom so I've got that going for me
The highlight was when a stranger was nose to nose with you threatening to kick ur ass, and you said "Is that your real face? Stopped him dead.
I think I pulled a boob muscle during phone sex
She was trying to be sexy well putting on my condom with her mouth when her cat pounced from the corner of the room witch caused her to gasp and inhale the condom
... why is there baby oil , black socks and frozen hot dogs in the sink this morning ?
I think I just saw my socks in the parking lot.. gonna keep walking
Randomize
