i just woke up and "where the fuck is taco bell" was in my search engine...
twelve hours since my last beer and i just blew a .08, time to go to the library
ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
I have 11 glasses of water and one beer on the table infront of me. Have to keep going to different bartends to get more. There are only two though and I think they've caught on
Thanks for sticking it out with old horseface last night... I owe you one buddy.
Let's have sex soon. Just us!! Its sad that I have to specify.
I woke up to find that chris drank one of my contacts.
Yeah he's good at that.
I'm just learned what a rim job is, I feel like crying
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
while he was teaching, every time he said "wet" he would look at me, that's what you get for sleeping with the professor's assistant
All I remember about last st pattys day was I was in a bathtub with full bubbles, fully clothed, drinking out of a flamingo lawn ornament that someone cut a hole in.
Your phone just changed "liver" to "liquor" how dose that make you feel
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
I am 11 times too hungover to give the eulogy
It was a crazy night: tears were shed, blood was spewed, and bottles were emptied.
Randomize
