This is the first month I have not taken plan B to get my period in over a year
And somehow that makes me sad knowing I haven't had raunchy unprotected sex in a month
he is fucking friends with his exwife on facebook, but he defriends me after 3 dates? am i that crazy?
screw that ipod for my birthday.. i just want a weed brownie the size of my face. that's all.
One reason I don't come to Portland. I saw 8 guys I have had sex with last night. At the same party.
By 8 I mean 9.
And by 9 I mean 10.
Confirm for me that it's be a bad idea to sleep with the 50 year old that's currently hitting on me?
Just put a dog collar on someone's child.....was a great hit with everyone but his mom.......I think she hates me. I'm okay.with that
She had sex in a public bathroom and slept on a couch in the dorm lobby. It's only Monday
I literally was just rolling on the ground and said to her 'this is what dying looks like'
I am at Brians in a pirate costume, what the hell am I thinking
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
I love when groups of boys part so I can walk through. It's like a red sea of penises, and I am their Moses.
She kept giving the uber driving directions and we all thought they were wrong so we'd send him the other way. Turns out she wasn't guiding us home, but to the half gallon that she hid in the bushes on the way to the bar.
We were on the beach when you spilled sand in the bottle and said "relax it's vodka, it'll disinfect itself"
I swear it’s like he’s filling my soul via my vagina
I woke up remembering only that I got pulled over by a cop, then looked over and found that same cop, naked.
Randomize
