A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
Is it bad that my booty call's snoring was more interesting than the sex we had last night?
at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
you probably should not have drank the wine that everyone spits out. and the sad part, that was not even your low point last night
Fire inspection over. Blunts are OK
also, the amount of semen in my carpet right now is unforgivable...
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
Whatever it's Canadian jail, it's not like Guatemala or something. It'll be nice and cushy and they'll probably throw him a big bday party with all his friends and strippers
I need you to know that everytime my toddler does the downward facing dog in the nude I think about the night you and your dude fell in love.
Soooo fucked this chick last night! While fucking she started talking into the fan on the side of my bed. Does that count as sex with a robot
HOW DID ALL OF US MISS THE OBVIOUS: I'LL SHAKE YOUR SPEARE
WELP I KNOW THE HAPPY HOUR DRINKS WERE GOOD BECAUSE MOM JUST INFORMED ME I AM THE RESULT OF POKED HOLE IN THE DIAPHRAGM
Hey, I'm sleeping in your car...lol just knock on the window in the morning
The people at Perkins seem so judgemental. Big deal if i'm handcuffed to stripper in a star-n-stripes bikini. We still gotta eat.
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