ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
The weather is perfect in Seattle right now. Warm enough for girls to not wear bras, but cold enough for me to see them nipping out in the shade.
I think we should involve a squid next time we fuck.
u kno there is a reason i dont tell mi friends about u
just went trash diving in my work clothes for weed. A&E's intervention here i come.
I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now
i dont feel like going...you don't know how much work goes into getting my whore on
Too lazy to make dinner. Had chocolate and scotch instead. Check in with me in a half hour.
I began mixing captain Morgan and jack daniels and called it captain jack sparrow. I puked. a lot.
Celebrating landing my dream job by watching zombie movies and drinking free booze in the bath. I'm like 90% sure I just won life.
You live 7 mins away and I'm leaving in 10 mins. At this point sex before work is impossible.
Challenge accepted. Be naked in 6 mins.
he kept insisting he didn't have my number, so i called his phone and my number came up as "yeaaaaaaaaah!"
I'm literally spending $165 to fly to Arizona to have a sex road trip coming back
Someone explain to me why I woke up to find a stolen shopping cart in my room...
Don't come up here. Strippers r crying.
You know you drink too much when the bartender at your favorite bar recognizes you at chipotle with your sunglasses on.
Randomize
