You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
It was like a Michael Bay sized explosion located in my pussy.
I'm so excited for this wedding, I feel like a school girl about to get finger launched on the dance floor at the sadie hawkins dance
It was like what a highfive between zeus and Jesus would sound like
Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
The more I hate his personality, the more I love his penis.
Pretty sure I went to the bar in my bathing suit, sweat pants, and high heels.
when the police officer said he was gonna take a picture of the car accident, you asked if you should pose on the hood
He decided not to draw dicks on my face when I passed out because he was afraid I'd retaliate and superglue his dick to his stomach....he knows me too well.
somehow a sneeze triggered me puking over everyone in the car
There is nothing quite so awkward as watching topless bullriding with your mother next to you..
(This is the second time ive been high enough to decide to run for office)
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
Thanks for letting me pee on your bed and cry about nothing to you. You're a real friend
My adderall dealer raised his prices due to "impending inflation" ... never buying from a college grad again
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