; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
He made fire alarm noises before throwing up all over the street.
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
Clearly I understand physics better when I'm on cocaine
Lets just fuck. We'll decide if it was makeup or breakup sex after.
you were upstairs in your room looking out your window and saw him puking in your bushes outside. you then proceeded to open the window and sing Come To My Window
I wouldn't blow him for all the queso in the world.
I'd rather blow that homeless guy who asked me to breast feed him.
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
She actually purred while I was balls deep in her! I have never been so proud to buy plan b at 6:30 in the morning.
my bed is a shrine, and I am its goddess.
He came over and fucked me while my conference call was on mute. Working from home is the best.
how does that bad decision feel?
You went into the bathroom, got in the tub with a pillow, yelled "this isn't as comfortable as it looks in the movies" then passed out
u ever get horny for food. i ordered a bunch of crepes and its doin it 4 me
Randomize
