He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
My brain is officially off for summer until late august. If that guy wants to fuck me, he better do it soon.
Only in this snowstorm did have I realized the lengths I'll go to to get laid.
the cops didn't wanna shut the tailgate down but the strippers weren't allowed to take money without a license or somthing
I just got checked out by a paramedic whilst their sirens were on. I'm doing something right
You know he really cares when he gives you one of those on-the-go toothbrushes for your walk of shame before running to work
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
I didn't want to but I was drunk in a Disney bathroom with her and had a weak moment.
I keep shaking cocoa puffs out of my hair. Best Sunday Funday ever.
When you woke up the first word out of your mouth was "whoa"
I was feeling the aftermath of his penis
he keeps various drugs in his kitchen cupboard like groceries. that is my new life goal as an adult.
Well, thanks for not letting me sleep with anyone, but no thanks for telling everyone I have the clap.
He had me sit on his face until I begged him to stop, then held me there 5 minutes longer. I rested my head on his chest, told him I needed time to recover....and slept for 6 hours. By the time I woke, he was already at work. I just sent him a countdown times until his shift is over.
Randomize
