My only options right now are Herpes, Gay, or Vanilla.
do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
she gave me a handjob while we were watching elf.... it's that time of year again!!
I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
I just got eleven picture messages of my dick and balls hanging out of my shorts last night. I guess it really is summer when the fratastic, man-thigh exposing shorts come out...
Bro i heard that. I've seen so many balls this month its like march madness all over again
we've been doin it since '07. it's like married sex now, were both comfortable so neither of us really tries anymore, we just do it because it's convenient
On a scale of one to everyone dying I say let's aim for a 7
It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.
I wiped my mouth this morning with a pine tree branch after I threw up on the side of the road. Tis the season
and somewhere between crying in her arms and throwing up in her front yard, we became friends.
Got drunk and passed out flintstone vitamins to everyone at the bar. I'm just so god damn motherly
I'm disproportionately drunk. But I also spelled disproportionately right twice so maybe I'm not that drunk
Also, I had mind-blowing sex on a pool table
He asked if I could not say his name during sex cause he liked the girl in the apartment above me.
Randomize
