is it odd that your cat looks tougher than you?
Vanilla vodka + chocolate soymilk does NOT equal an epic milkshake.
At Grandmas for dinner. She is drinking a smirnoff ice. As soon as I saw it I had to stop myself from yelling chug.
I woke up this morning next to a stack of saltines & a txt from u saying "do it." it took me a second to remember wat was going on
It's been two weeks and I still have carpet burns on my knees. Well done.
well its a long story but basically i overcame many cockblocks
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
We are sitting here staring into each others eyes, mutually rubbing forks up and down our respective noses. High as balls doesn't even begin to cover it.
Evvvvvveryone knows we hooked up in the DJ booth. People call it the BJ booth now. I've created a legacy
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
So when I walked out, everyone was chanting ONE OF US, someone draped a lei over my head, and then she grabbed my ass and dragged me back into the bedroom. I'd say it was a pretty good night to lose my virginity.
Well, I woke up on a roll-away, with a knot in the back of my head and penis confetti stuck to me. Also, I apparently literally gave the shirt off my back right before I passed out, so I was topless. Vegas won this trip.
He's unconstrained by sanity, physics, or his liver.
I made it out of the house. Success.
It's not better out here. I'm at Target hyperventilating in the aisles.
I told him I lived in the apartment beside his brother and he said "oh, you're the girl that watches really loud porn!"
Randomize
