Your vagain smells worse when im sober.
sorry, worng number
Is a Chipotle burrito an acceptable "sorry I ran over your cat" gift?
I'm watching ellen!
just because im gay does not mean you need to notify me every time you watch the ellen degeneres show
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
im gonna make a bucket list just so i can cross off "underwater blowjob"
doing shots of $6 a bottle whiskey and chasing it with milk. my own personal way of saying fuck life.
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
The worst that could happen is you end up with a black eye and I get laid.. I'm okay with my end of that bargain.
You left wolverine marks
I'm somewhere between sorry and proud
my make-up looks really good tonight. I swear it had nothing to do with me finishing all of your strawberry vodka.
I'm to sober to make life ruining decisions and alcohol is to expensive at this bar for me to fear that level of drunk happening
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
There's no good way to say, "sorry your son saw me naked on top of your brother"
I specifically remember rubbing my eyes thinking I could definitely go blind and I really like came to terms with it I was like ok my other senses will develop this is fine
I used an explanation of Walking Marriages in the Mosuo Culture to successfully negotiate an open relationship. That Anthropology degree is finally starting to pay off.
Randomize
