I dk what to do with this kid he is like legitimately interested in my life.
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
If kinky sex was an Olympic sport they would be playing the anthem for me as we speak.
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
My mom was looking at curtains for me and sent pictures and I had to be like "not the Disney princess pink and purple, more like an acid trip"
my math prof is telling us what to do in a gun fight. i dont want to live in oakland anymore.
Pretty sure I picked a cat up off the street and took him home with me, fed him tuna, then let him go
I'm so high that I'm intently watching my neighbor move his car back and forth in order to put his motorcycle in the garage, and getting irritated that it seems so complicated.
Go for gold. Two birds with one vag.
I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper
That is cause you are some weird type of mutant that lives off of Alcohol.
She asked the bartender for "7 shots of something fruity" and long story short the bartender punched me in the face. Chivalry is stupid.
Dude, naked camping ALWAYS takes precedence. I would skip my own funeral to go naked camping.
FUCK YOU IM DRINKING WINE FROM A BOX
You okay there or need a ride? Maybe a straw for your box
Maybe a straw...
While the cops were busting my party one of them said. O you have an Xbox? Do you play online? Whats your gamertag?....
Randomize
