I just told my doc I would like to talk about my drinking problem, but that it would probably get in the way of my weekend plans.
So I just went to student health services and on my way in there was a girl outside on her phone saying "I just dont want you to be angry" and on my way out she was saying "I have the side effects sheet right here" Someone started the semester off classy
the arrest was probably divine intervention, cause i think we were heading to an ill-advised threesome.
She just tagged pictures of you wrapped in the "above the influence banner" like a toga.
well, duh, but it's like you don't even want to see me masturbate with a wine bottle.
You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
Apparently I was so drunk I threw my entire wallet at the stripper on stage. That was the third time I should've gotten kicked out.
I got us a lift home. Payment may require me giving road head, are you cool just chilling in the back seat pretending to be oblivious to this happening?
Come to wine Wednesday bro. We have a fog machine
There is naked swordfighting and something green and alcoholic going on in the basement. COME. OVER. NOW.
I was 100% done.. I used my vibrator while eating cold pizza. Shit was magical.
You still owe me a blowjob for knowing more about hurricanes than you.
The selfie stick gets 5 stars bc it really added a fun element to my sex tape
My drug dealer was just on ESPN..
I wanted to give everyone gifts as they left the house... So when your wondering where most of the christmas ornaments are I'm really sorry.
Randomize
