ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
My own mom unfriended me on Facebook.
I should do something nice for her. Like sign her up for "What Not To Wear."
These fall allergies are really hindering my cocaine habit.
i think they forgot i was still in the room... she grabbed his balls and said "i feel a fire coming on".
He went THROUGH MY PHONE (he's 30 for God sake) then asked me why I was stringing along 12 guys... I told him he could have just asked me if I was banging other people and then saved himself from looking at pics of dicks bigger than his.
i swear, you were born with a blunt in one hand and somebody else's wallet in the other.
Remember that time I got suspended in eighth grade, well it was like that but I was on acid and wearing goggles
I didn't even have pants on and you think I had an agenda
What do you mean? Just eat his food and have sex with him. Unless you want a relationship, then just eat his food.
Pretty sure one of my drivers stopped to get laid while he was delivering a pizza. Is it appropriate to give him a write-up AND a high-five?
The last time the Patriots won the Super Bowl I lost my virginity. I can only imagine what'll happen if they win this year.
Of course the sales lady was judging you, you bought a pregnancy test, ky jelly, diet pills and a 6 pack of red bull. Even i'm judging you.
I hooked up with the sexiest couple in the LAX BATHROOM IN THE CHANGING FAMILY ROOM HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA
Looking back, we probably shouldn't have chased alcohol with more alcohol
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