Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
i called her out for picking her nose in public and he still wonders why i don't like her!
Its mothers day and I have choke marks around my neck. Thanks for that.
They thought we spoke German and French even though we just kept repeating "I give to you a cat" and "Are you drunk?"
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
Ha, I bet. You tipped the waitress like 10 bucks for a glass of water.
I forgot if I was chewing my gum or my tongue
today is just not my day... it could be raining penises and I would get hit in the face by a vag
I'm at a bar where I literally walked in to the bathroom and some chick told me to never go to San Joaquin state pen
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
I LOVE YOU NO MATTER HOW MANY BALLS YOUVE SUCKED
Head-banging is a very stupid way to injur yourself. But this opinion is also coming from somebody who can't walk right because they cut their asshole shaving last night, so it probably has little to no merit.
Was about to close the deal last night until he said he hadn't seen the Taylor Swift video. So I made him watch it before I let him have sex with me.
He waved at a guy who drove by while we were having sex in the back of a rental car in a hospital parking garage prior to visiting family. Almost made me feel guilty but I liked it too much.
your fucking longboard fell on me while we were having sex you fucking hipster
Randomize
