just next time i won't let coke make me think I'm superman and drink a shit ton.
At some point I made a semi-conscious decision that i was okay with sleeping in my own vomit.
She told me she couldnt give me head last night because she was running out of listerine
They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
My weekend will be all about the double d's, desert & debauchery
I've discovered the best way to avoid rehab is to not fuck fat chicks when your drunk, therefore delaying regrets and rock bottom
your the Dr. Phil in my life
Today is an unchanging day
WHEN DID YOU SAY YOU COME BACK BC I GOT INVITED TO A KEG WAR PARTY
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
I just took the soggiest of beer shits and all i have to eat is shredded cheese and more beer. I need an adult.
As if I wouldn't steal Nintendo brand "Mario is my HOMEBOY!" boxers when he gave me the entire drawer to choose from.
I'm kinda sad I'm leaving the bank. I never got to have rough sex in the vault.
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
I’m the skeleton in his closet, but I only come out on Tuesday and Thursday afternoon and when his wife is out of town
Randomize
