my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS
she looks like stephen colbert with that blond wig he was wearing last night.
jacking off on stolen wireless... gotta enjoy the small things in life
Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
I fell alseep but then some dude picked me up. Comforter and all stuck a blunt in my mouth and carried me back downstairs because "I wasn't done partying"
noooo, I woke up on his pack porch and the SUN WAS RISING. I saw red lights everywhere and heard sirens so I just ran for my life.
Malt liquor mondays...better in theory.
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
he was like captain planet, but less blue and more nakeed
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
Don't take a pillow from my bed. You don't know which ones of them my vagina has been on
IT'S FUCKING BABY SEASON ON FACEBOOK. MY VAGINA WANTS TO THROW UP
My fire has petered out without you
My Peter has fired out without you
That might be the most romantic thing you’ve said to me, unfortunately.
Cover for me. Stopped at Chris’ for a quickie. Broke a high heel and there’s jizz all over my black dress. Fuck pornstars for making workday sex look easy
I think she lost me at about the point where the words “Ice Cream Enema” were spoken.
Randomize
