why didn't you poke me back
How do you say "I always respond to booty calls" when you give a guy your number?
If you're trying to subtly tell me that I look like Connie Chung, just stop it. I already know.
First drunken handjob: not successful. Second handjob, mostly sober: much better. Nightly news brought to you by me.
I have to take his virginity. It's what God put me on earth for. It's my life mission.
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
We are cuddling. She is so cute when she is too high to be a loud bitch.
This is the high leading the old right now
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
We were so hungover we fell asleep in Goodyear waiting for them to fix her car. At 4 in the afternoon on a Sunday. The workers apparently didnt want to vacuum because they didn't want to wake us.
He drunkenly stumbled over to me and told me my "crotch looks spectacular tonight"..... i think this could work
Omg my brain. Most recent thought: I fucking prayed in the bathroom that the other girl would leave. Prayed to Jesus
I tired using vodka to remove my makeup
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
Randomize