just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
I opened my door to go to class and all there was was a raccoon puking on the doorstep. In hindsight, it was a very accurate omen.
only you would end up drunk at a subway with a one-eyed homeless man
I'm sure I'm not the FIRST newly single girl to table dance at a family restaurant.
I can always make him wear a mask... I'll tell him it's a fetish.
why are all my papers due the day after my potential hangover
He dodged my hug and greeted me with a fist bump. I slept with him the night before. The only thing worse would have been a greeting by chest bump.
I hope it's socially acceptable to wear a mesh one piece into last call tonight?
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
I want to share a beverage of the alcoholic category with you, but I'm conflicted about getting out from under my covers.
as much as I don't like snorting drugs, I would totally be fine with someone doing a line off my ass. that's just a whole new up
I walked so much yesterday and I was like holy fuck I need to do some cardio apart from sex cause this is ridic
Where's the chopping off someone's balls emoji
You know that pill i snorted last night? Yeh, its just hitting me now..... At work
It's been THREE DAYS. Why do I still have the munchies?!
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