We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
i was in the bathroom puking my brains out, a girl walked in and said "i just came to do the same thing" so i told her i would move over and share the toilet. its better than being alone.
I feel like I spend my weeks apologizing for my weekends.
MRIs the morning after St. Patty's Day was a poor choice.
I'm at the bar and they've turned up lady gaga to cover the sound of the fire alarm.
Just walk straight and zig zag through cars tell you get to the road. That's where I am. Perpendicular to the doors do not make any turns
I just had a dream that I was pulling you around downtown on a sled, from bar to bar. Dear lord if we start that there's no hope for us
We convinced the Dj to let us play musical chairs...... I won by the way.
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
Eric and I just went in the hallway to practice our new handshake in a real life situation at live speeds. That high.
How drunk do you guys plan on getting?
We wrote our addresses on our arms for the cab driver, what do you think?
Congratulations! You can now legally do that thing you said you never do again!
THANKS! I'M SO EXCITED TO NOT DO THE THING
OMG YOU GO OUT AND NOT DO THAT THING, GIRL! I SUPPORT YOU 100%!!!
Let's just say his oral game was lacking. Hell, lacking is too nice of a word to describe it.
I don't think I'm ever gonna need a boyfriend again. I have a body pillow, a vibrator, and I'm strong enough to open my own jars.
let me assure you that a rugburn on your forehead is the worst side effect of tequila i have experienced to date.
Randomize
